Almost there! ((:

ONE MORE PAPER LEFT (:

For some reason, waiting for your examinations to pass you by is almost like a terrible stomachache >.< I hereby apologize for any non-palatable images that have just popped into your brain (: As for me, my brain having fused long ago, am immune to the idea of comparing doing examinations to taking a dump.

Now you know I've gone mad. Either with Biostatistics or the nearing idea of freedom!

Whichever...

I'M STILL PUSHING GOD!!

Strength and Determination by the Lord!

我要坚持到底！！！

安慰的面孔

“but i just want you to know that even though we are small and weak.. and imperfect. we are the apple of God's eye. and after all, you're edmund's cookie。”

秀君，你的金玉良言我会珍惜一辈子的 (:
Thank you Liz.

志洋，对不起。

我们已经三个星期没见面了。。。
对不起。。。我偏偏要在八点才出现。。。
你要相信我， 我真的很想你。。。你不要伤心好吗？
这三个星期没有你真的好奇怪。
我也不知道为什么。。。
今天我突然觉得。。。 我不配。
对不起。。。 让你失望。。。
请原谅我。

Buy me a smile (:

I saw this today (: Its MacDonald's new initiative for unfortunate children ^^ Its called 'Buy a Smile'. And that really set my thinking. Which is a miracle after the arduous 2 hours we sat through in Nanyang Auditorium just hammering out essays. But we are people of mettle! And we'll survive this, yeah? (:

The point is, I saw the words 'Buy a smile' and thought, "wow.". At that moment, that was the only thing that ran through my head. But as I assimilated the thought on the way home, one prominent question was floating around in my head, "Can you truly buy a smile?".

Well, I suppose you could (: On the streets, when you give a heartbroken beggar some money, or buy a tissue packet from an aunty near the MRT stations... Just a simple dollar or two puts a toothless smile on their time-worn faces (: Sometimes when your friend forgets to bring his or her wallet, a dollar is enough to send her home... and put a smile on her face (:

I guess you could buy a smile... but not with that one dollar coin in your pocket. You can only buy a smile with a willing heart (: I suppose the real lesson in giving 2 dollars for a paper smile isn't that you should think money can buy you real happiness... but its the actualization of an action that buys a smile ^^ It doesn't matter whether its a cheque for a million dollars, a gold bar or a simple smile. Sometimes we underestimate the worth of a hug as opposed to mere words on a text message or a well-wish. Its a step forward to actually getting closer to actual, physical happiness, I guess (:

And that's all people need... one step.
and one smile.

Buy a smile today (:

Cookies and Milk

deux vers le bas et 4 pour aller!
I just completed 2 examinations today (:

And I also walked home! Haha. I had a thought on the way home.

GOD IS AWESOME!

Other than that, I was thinking of cookies and milk ^^ Why cookies and milk? Well... because I believe that everyone on earth is like a different dish. Some people are warm and comforting like piping hot chicken soup on a cold day... some people are spicy and popular amongst the locals like laksa. Some people are cold and rigid like ice-cream, but are loved anyway (: Some people, like me, are like cookies.

Why cookies? Because we're small and often come in round shapes (like circles? hahahaha.). My Mom says I'm like a cookie because I'm small, sweet, cute and lovable ... and chewy. Well, that's what Eileen says too. Haha. I, on the other hand, feel that I'm a cookie because I'm deceptively innocent to most people, until you take a bite out of me and find out I can give you diabetes AND atherosclerosis at the same time! Buahahaha. But I'm also a cookie because I seem tough and strong, but all you have to do it add a little pressure or get me a little bit wet and I'll break into two or fall apart.

Cookie-people come in different shapes and sizes. We also have different fillings. Some people like some cookies more than others. Other people simply can't accept some cookies. For example, I can't eat chocolate chip cookies because I'm allergic to chocolate. Kinda like how a model would never talk to a vagabond. In life, you will encounter a lot of cookie-people. In life, you will find out which type of cookie-person you like the most (: And if you're the right type of food, you'll find that you will go well with a particular cookie-person as a set and can take your relationship to another picnic table (: (er. I mean level.)

That's how I see Edmund's relation with me, I suppose (: Edmund is like milk.
He can be drunk hot or cold. And in both ways, he's just as lovable ^^ When the weather's cold outside and its pouring like the Niagara Falls, he's perfect when he's warm ^^ On a hot day, when you just want to laze around and not do the things you need to get done, he's a great energizer and motivator (: -whispers- When Edmund's cold, he's a tough motivator. -nods-

But more importantly, he's a perfect complement for me! ((: Hee hee. Cookies and milk. Together, we're every little child's comfort, every woman's sin and every man's staple XP Although you could consume cookies and milk separately and be happy, when you have them both together, it adds a little more magic in your life. Especially after a tough examination paper. No one really know how the cookie and milk got together, heck, even the cookies and milk don't understand. All we know is, when we dip cookies into milk and we taste the love in that confectionery bond, we don't have to ask any more questions ^^

Cookies and Milk FTW!

... okay. Now I'm hungry.

P.S. To all those cookies out there, I hope you find your glass of milk soon! ((:

Ce un nouveau jour~ merci mon Dieu pour votre amour~

Its a new day! (: Today is also the day of my Grandfather's funeral. Sigh. We're sending him off in a while. Pretty soon, in fact.

HL815
Aristotle said that a play's or art's true purpose is 'Catharsis' - the purging of the soul. Although I never really knew Aristotle, I find this so intimately true. All the World's stage and we're merely actor and actresses in it. Each event God has structured in His perfect manuscript is an event meant to develop the character. As such he introduces events that causes us, ironically also the audience, step back and take a look at the whole picture (Alienation and imitative resemblance). In the process, we learn and grow. (What doesn't kill us, helps us to become better people right?) In this we recognise that our world, apart from the love of Christ, is naught but a simulcrum we've constructed on stereotypes and biases. There is no true love anymore... save the stereotypes of love we perceive to be and the FORM of love held in God's hands. A person's character is what the media makes it out to be. So to break through the Simulcra, God lets these bad things happen to us. To pull us back to Him. Although its painful, it purifies our soul and purges the evil in our thoughts - that our form is laid bare at the very moment. And we may approach the form of all Love. And be immersed in it. Voila (: Here life resembles the doll house . But in God, we have found our true Identity. Though crushed, we are made whole.

There (: I just summarised all the themes for HL815 into my experience this few days. But the bottomline is? I've learnt my lesson this round... and because of this trial, through my treasured Lord, I'm now stronger (:

But I couldn't have done it without such awesome friends who know how to cheer me up (: Thank you all for your words of encouragement and for making each day on this wretch earth more and more bearable to live in.

1000 Paper Cranes

A HUGE thank you to Eileen and Calvin for making my day 'sweeter' ((:

Je vous verrez à nouveau

John 17:17 "Sanctify them with Your Word. Your Word is Truth."

Today has been one heck of a day...
There are no simple words that come to mind when I think about today...
But I remember looking at him, just lying there. He looks exactly like how he looks when he's sleeping... I remember saying that about my grandma 1 year ago.

I must admit, it hasn't been an easy 2 weeks. I wish it had went better, but it didn't. And God knows, my heart is drifting further away from Him every time I give in to the naggy voice inside of me that's telling me to give up.

A big thanks to everyone who messaged me and even tried to call me to comfort me (: I'm greatly comforted by your kind thoughts and the re-assurance you've given me. We're actually okay... I mean, we're sad that he's moved on.. but he led a full life and he went on peacefully... and he's probably having supper with God right now in Heaven~ Please don't worry~ We're doing alright (: And things will look up.

Eileen was right. I am lucky to have such an awesome grandpa, and I'll always remember the way he smiles and the things he likes to eat... At times I'll be sad when I remember such things. But I'll also remember that he'd want us to be happy and to do the things that make us happy. So that's what I'm going to do (: I"ll be happy. And everytime I smile, I'll remember that I'm smiling for him. And for God (: and for everything that you guys messaged me about - strength, courage and love.

你的千羽鶴我也收到了。

1 Conrinthians 16:55
" Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting? The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be t God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!"

想念你

－波未平，一波再起。。。



Dear Grandpa,

I remember. I just wanted to tell you that T_T. I remember when I was young and you loved me so much that you took me to the airport everyday. I remember standing at the viewing gallery with you, and we used to watch the airplanes take off. Sometimes, you'd hold me so tight that I'd have a little hand print on my side. But I knew it was because you couldn't bear to drop me. Your laugh was so wholesome and so hearty, it would infect me with smiles and joy ^^ Can you remember the time you took us out and the car door swung open as we left the carpark? Haha. The fuss we took to close the door. You kept the engine running and ran out to close it. Haha. I still don't know how you did it... But now I know, Its because you're my Super Grandpa (:

Then you had a stroke. And it took away your ability to move T___T But that didn't stop you from laughing when I did something silly (: Then the devil gave you another stroke... still you refused to stop laughing. Your new laughter was my source of unlimited joy ^^ When you laughed, the whole world stopped for a moment and it seemed like nothing in the world could ever get me down again... Even without the ability to raise your lips in a proper smile, you'd lift your hand (: And that was enough. I feel so proud... to have you as my Super Grandpa.

You know what they say... the devil only attacks the strongest people. IT gave you kidney failure and hypertension. Going with you to the hospital were a mix of sadness, worry and happiness. And when the hospital decided to keep you, visiting you was a bit painful... knowing that you were suffering. But each time that smile broke through on that toothless mouth, I felt the angels fly back to my side (: You moved me to tears when you accepted Christ. I saw you become weaker though... still we'd pray for you in Miracle Service, at home... But we couldn't visit you everyday. Work got in the way. But there you remained, my Super Grandpa.

Maybe yesterday's meteor shower were the angels flying to take you home (:

I know you're gone... gone home to God's side. That's why I'm comforted, not grieved. Well, I've had these 19 years with you - had your hand to hold, had you to hug and to have as my Super Grandpa (: I'm not content... I want to have you around again... but I know its God's time to have you now. I'm still not willing to let go... but I know God'll teach me how to in time. But maybe I'll be able to smile like you, through this adversity and the many adversities I'll encounter ahead. I'm going to try to not cry and be strong, just for you. I'm sorry I didn't spend as much time as I should have with you. I love you Gong-gong. Although I never told you... I want to watch airplanes with you again.

To my Super Grandpa, I'm missing you.

With much much much love,
Sharyl


"Don't mourn someone's death. Celebrate his life." - Anon

Praise the Lord!

I've been thoroughly blessed and I WILL NOT LET THE EXAMINATIONS GET ME DOWN!

I'm posting this song because it makes me happy ((:



Yay to literal straight-forwardness XDD
Wish your Kiss :3

The Green Gummy bear Amongst the Lakerols

Today was particularly sunny day.

I woke up today feeling a little morose, because I hadn't completed the studying I was planning to complete yesterday. Now here at 3.30, time is still passing me by on a freight train. But I have no qualms about simmering down to write about my feelings XD

Still, its not very often that a moment like this comes by (: Its quiet now. Eileen is murmuring about the cold and Calvin has just left. The weather outside is perfect for a good run around the neighbourhood XD Although I'm cooped up in here, I'm somewhat... content.

Haha. Eileen just threatened to eat all my sweets.

The sweet box is standing to my right with the cover open. Its a bit bulgy because of all the gummybears Eileen just stuffed down its 'throat'. Its a red Lakerol box. ... stuffed with gummy bears. Its not often that you get that XP I left the cap open and now it smells of strawberry and lime. Haha. Surprisingly, its a lovely combination. Or maybe its the company I've had this day that makes it all the sweeter to smell ^^

The clouds outside are like cotton-candy in its generator. It looks like they all have somewhere to go, but they're taking their time to stroll. As much as my heart is still racing from the fact that the examinations are coming, I'm glad God still takes the time to paint us a lovely picture for today (:

There's God loving us outside.
And here are my friends, loving me on the inside ^^ ... of the building. Hahaha.
Thanks Eileen and Calvin ((: I enjoyed studying with you guys today ^^

Why does hair smell so bad?

Okay. This is just a random piece of trivia XDD haha. Brought to you by the fact that I'm in the library, my ass is numb and I feel bored with all the BS101 reeling through my head. Haha.

Have you ever burnt a strand of your own hair before? I did. By accident. But I would like very much not to talk about it. It smelt terrible! Something like being locked in a room with a gorilla with a bad case of the runs and he cuts the cheese right in front of your face which is tied to his rear-end.
<
This is because of DISULPHIDE BONDS in your hair. Yes. -highlighthighlight- The smell we detect in farts is generated by Hydrogen Sulphide. The very thing that thermophillic bacteria in sea vents emit deep under water. These disulphide bonds are the forces that hold keratin (a protein) in your hair tightly together so that it would have structural and tensile strength. (High tensile strength means that you can support about 300 people by your hair alone!) When you burn your hair, the combustion causes the disulphide bonds to break and the sulfydyl groups to be released as hydrogen sulphide. And as such, we should never ever burn our hair for fun. Because it STINKS.

-bows- Thank you. Haha.

On the side note, keratin is also strengthened by the present of small amino acids like glycine and alanine to ensure the tight-packing of all the tropocollagen strands into a large macrofibril (: That's why cavemen drag their wives around by their hair.

Talking about nice hair, I must now tell the whole world, I LOVE EILEEN HOW
Because she's a loving, caring friend who has my well-being at heart. (: <3

Mentos and all that is green~

"He is Lord, He is Lord, sings my soul... He is LORD."

I must take this time to praise the Lord (: Unwittingly, my entire day just whisked past O.O I didn't even have the time to double-take. My days started out with a now-usual trip to the library at 8.30 am to reserve seats for Eileen and I. And before I can even say glycosylphosphatidylinositol linker, its 9.15pm and I'm munching on a banana!
... Okay. So maybe the banana isn't that important XD

I wonder who first coined the phrase "time really flies". Because now, together with the invention of e-mail (which is now succeeded by SMS) and microwave ovens, TIME WARPS. Hahaha. Bad pun. But yes it does. It has a space-time-continuum-altering device that allows it to become tomorrow before you even realise yesterday had passed you by.

On the way back home from my tutee's house, I was rather despondent... It had been 7 hours since I last hit the books and I wasted it on travelling. Haha. Ugh. Oh, I wanted so much to be given a teleportation device thing-a-ma-gig at that very moment so I could just 'beam' home. But I didn't. And so I continued walking. Meanwhile, Time was racing ahead of me, making funny faces while I ate its dust.

But not wanting to really waste time, I decided that maybe I could meditate on the Lord instead (: I switch the song on my nano to 'This is our God'. And began to just think about the things He has taught me. Of course, I was still getting distracted by the world around me, but as I thought back to what has happened over the course of this week, I began to really see...

I saw a loving Lord who stood by my side and held me back in embrace when I wanted to ... urm ... add a 'fullstop' to my 'essay' (shall we say?). He reminded me this week that the Lord only reprimands those He loves and if we taste the whip, its because He wants to teach us something that will stay with us forever (: He also showed me the importance of friendship and understanding ((: and the meaning of staying true to your love~ ^^ Then suddenly, from the deep recesses of my mind, a single soft but adamant voice rang out...

"I watched Confucius create examinations. Are you really going to let 6 stacks of paper take away your hope of everything I have promised you? Trust in me. I held the waters of the Red Sea back for you. What makes you think I can't save you from this examination?"

And just like the rainbow God painted across the sky after Noah came out from the ark, a flood of green - people wearing green, green kites, green bags, green shoes, just appeared before me out of the .. green XD haha. When the train stopped, it was (just nice!) in the green section. I know it sounds childish, me noticing all the 'greenery', but if you were standing in my position, you'd be moved to tears too. Alright, so I didn't cry in public... but the message God sent was loud and clear (:

Hebrews 10:27
"Let us hold on unswervingly to the hope that we profess, for the Lord who promises is faithful."

(:

J'ai confiance en moi-meme maintenant~
Parce que j'ai confiance en mon Dieu ~ ^^

Random Acts of Mentos

“Trouble and distress have come upon me, but your commands are my delight.”- Psalm 119:143

It is so very comforting to know that a person with a real heart DOES exist in each and every one of us ^^ I'm studying in Lee Wee Nam with Eileen right now. And we were just offered mentos by this complete stranger sitting opposite us (: As minor as it sounds, his simple act of kindness has really made my day ^^

Thank you stranger!

Anchor!

Glycosylphosphatidylinositol Linker

There! I 'said' it ((: And did it without looking XP

Be Thou my Wisdom~

Although not as hip or jumpy at our modern-day songs, I think the most earnest of hearts is the true secret ingredient to a good song (: I hope that one day, when my time comes, God'll give me the strength to sing this song upon my deathbed. Then finally be received into His arms ^^

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord.
The only one in my sight, from henceforth until I arrive at thy Throne ^^
Forever.

Je t'aime, mon Dieu. Toujour~

Love,
Sharyl

Be Thou my Vision (:

"My Kind of Heaven, my treasure, Thou art."

Okay. So I've finally gotten a legitimate blog, at the final push from Hann Bin. Haha. Well... hmm.. its a very green blog, as you can see XD I can't guarantee I'll update it everyday or anything... but when I get the inspiration, this is where everything will go~

Life is pretty messy for me now (: and creating this blog came in a moment of boredom when I was studying about partially permeable membranes (thefluidmosaicmodelanditsdifferentfactorsofinfluenceliketemperaturecompositionandvanderwaalsforcesblahlblahblah), believe it or not. Haha. But yes! I will update again soon with a proper post (: Hopefully...

Love,
Sharyl