Cookies and Redemption

Un poème facile

2010-07-05T18:38:00.000-07:00

The music plays into our hearts,
weaving us together as we lock our eyes in fervid gaze.
I'm lost in you...
And this is no mere childish phase.

The tempo picks up.
With the quick jump of the Spanish strings,
Our fingers pull into a lock.
Suddenly I find I have wings...

We throw our love across the floor,
In pausing breathe, sit into slight repose.
Then set off in swift flight again,
Amidst the chaos of musical throes.

At last the violent strumming stopped,
Powerful twirls quelled in rest divine.
Nothing left but your fiery gaze,
and your fingers intertwined with mine.

Long over-due Post

2010-06-14T00:33:00.001-07:00

Hello my dear friends (: Well, I've really been lagging with posts. But you have to understand the attitude of writing a blog post... it that terrible disease where you have so much to write about that you get confused about what to write and eventually you get tired of thinking. However, you'll be pleased to know that I'm determined to get this post out (:

1. End of the First Academic Year
Well, there's nothing too much to say about this (: We're done with the first Academic year! 4 more to go XD hahah. Sigh.

2. New York New York!
I went to New York for 12 days! With my dearest Mom ((: It was a blast and I've uploaded the photos on Facebook XD I didn't take too many photos though, since it was mostly cement and buildings XD AND I was too busy have a whale of a time to take photos XD I think the best thing about the trip was going to visit Quan Ming and his posse down in Brooklyn (: The only thing that topped that was walking from Chinatown (middle of Manhattan) alllll the way down to the World Trade Center Ground Zero (Southern Manhattan) =D Hee. It was a trip of compassion and learning as I made friends on the plane as well - Marc, Frank, Ryan and Ryan's Mom XD And we shared stories of how Frank met Megawati and lost friends in 9/11 as well as Bali on 10/12. Then Marc told us how he sailed the Atlantic and taught us a French tongue twister XD.

3. Heart-to-Heart
The past few days have been magical talking to Rox (: We just spent nights revealing everything to each other XD I suspect she knows more about me than I do now O.O But there's something magical about sharing each other's pain and joy (: I could feel that through each second I was more than just sitting with a friend I loved and cared for, I was forming a bond with her ^^ I cannot express sufficiently how inspired I get every time I have a sit-down with Rox (: She has shown me to love others even more and how to open up my world to others ^^ how to conquer my prejudice and such (: She is my infallible mirror, and has allowed me to see both my faults and my strengths ^^

Rox, Thank you so much for opening up your world to me ^^ Don't you worry babe! No matter how warped you think your story is, I'll still be there, with my ears and arm open (: No matter what is happening and even when things get too out-of-hand to manage, keep strong my dear (: God and I are always on your side ^^ With much love, Sharyl.

4. Havana Nights
This is all Eugene's fault. I can't stop listening to Salsa beats and practising the Bachata steps! >.< Yes. I've caught the Salsa fever. Haha. I'm even planning to take up salsa lessons and join the salsa team at NTU (: I'm so riled up! But of course, it couldn't have been without the help of some friends whom I dragged along to Social Night ^^ You guys made dancing such a fun experience that I just couldn't stop! Thanks, Eugene, Vig, Mel, Grace, Michelle ((: You guys have really opened up my eyes (: You made me dance again ^^

There's nothing quite sublime as dancing with someone (: Even if that someone is somebody you have never met before in your whole life. I think that's what I like about Social night. You get to dance with someone you don't even know without any reservations (: I'm a girl of many words and when you get me started, I can't stop XD But even though I root for the written, I'm profoundly impress by the non-written expression. Dancing is the summary of a relationship/friendship (: Like Dylan Moran said, hellos are difficult because after 'hello' people get lost. They go, "Hello!.......... (puffs cheeks).... SO! Would you like a chipmunk?" Haha (:

But on the dance floor, the 'May I?' is the 'Hello'. And when you're with him, there's nothing after hello. Just the rhythm of the music and the 'connection' between you and him. You have to trust him completely. You're a little tense at first, but as the music goes on, and you finally lean back into his hold, you find that you 'understand' each other (: Nothing is spoken or communicated, but at every simple turn and 180 turn, he catches you and pulls you back and suddenly the barriers between the both of you fall (: Bit by bit. I think that's the magic of dancing~

I mean, sure I'm not as slender, tall and gorgeous as all the other women twirling on the dance floor. But no one really cares (: so as long as you're having fun (:

I still count stars

2010-03-18T07:17:00.000-07:00

It was too cloudy tonight for stars... but every time I come home from school at night, I love to look up and count the stars God put out for us (: It seems like God always knows what I'm thinking though... one nights I don't feel too good, God sends more stars XDD Brighter ones too. But even on good days (: The stars are there to stretch my smile (: I love stars. But I realised it wasn't because they were shiny or pretty... but because they had God's fingerprints on them (: So sue me, I'm a bloody romantic, but I feel so honored that God would take the time to create stars and make them visible at night for us (: ... even when we don't look up.

Mom used to say, "Don't look down when you're cycling! Where you look is where you go!"

Maybe I took her words a bit too seriously, but looking at the sky when you walk can be quite soothing ((: Perhaps that's what they mean to have your head 'stuck in the clouds'. But compared to looking at more glum faces around, I'd prefer to have my head where its tranquil and still (: Of course, there are times when my head is buried in my 中医基础理论课本, but we can't have our heads underwater throughout the whole swim right? And the best way to catch your breathe for the next lap is to lift your head up.

Recently though, I've been so lost in the tandem of homework coming and going that I found myself staring at the ground like everyone else. I kinda forgot to come up for air and have been knocking out without even knowing it the past few days. Then I wake up and freak because I've totally forgotten what I studied the day before. Ugh.

But its not too late to pick up the pieces ... thank God.

"Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain." - Psalms 127:1

My trust is in the Lord (: and I've learnt to let go when my strength has come to an end. I'm like a kid, hanging on to a cookie I can't have because the jar's mouth is smaller than my chubby hand. Its time to let the cookie go and get the adult to shake the jar (: Maybe I'll get more than just one cookie ^^

I still count stars ((: Not because I like stars... or that they're particularly shiny. But because they've been touched by God (: I look up to the heavens... because that's where I want to go (: What about you? Where are you looking?

ARGHH!!

2010-03-13T06:05:00.000-08:00

I'M TIRED OF BEING FAT!!
THE FAT HAS TO GO!! -MONSTROUS ROAR-

A Runcible Spoon

2010-03-06T03:53:00.000-08:00

Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought—
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! and through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

Never has nonsense made so much sense ((:
I'd like to run away some day... when no one's looking.
It won't solve my problems,
or take away any pain.
But I might become stronger if I embark on a journey and never return.
If I should return... Then maybe I'll be strong enough to slay my own Jabberwocky.

A Moment of Roses

2010-02-14T07:56:00.000-08:00

Its quite sad really... that our world has become so fast-paced that the only way to make you stop and smell the flowers is to sucker-punch you in the gut so that you're immobilized for a short while. Well, God really let me have it. I'm face-down in flowers right now, still writhing in pain.

While my gut is still 'inflamed', I'm really re-thinking my life and my actions slowly as each excruciating moment passes me by. Superficially, I've come to love my intestines and appreciate the grueling work I put them through each time I munch down on some random cookie-muffin thingy.

On the other hand, I've come to really appreciate the people who truly understand and care for me ^^ Like my family and relatives who gladly pushed me the easier items of food to chew on... who made sure I didn't 'accidentally' chow down on gas-inducing items and junk food. Mom and Dad made sure we got home as soon as possible so that I could climb into bed and writhe the night through XDD Carren poured helpful suggestions about taking care of my digestive tract (which I've listened to attentively and will implement over the long-run!)... And not to mention all my dear friends who found out and prayed for me (: I think they're all partially the reason I've lived till now.

The second (and more important) factor, is definitely God. Y'know sometimes in order to discipline Campbell, we treat her really badly? I'm not saying God treats me like a dog O.O (although I rightly should be) I'm just saying that sometimes, in order to teach us an important lesson, He disciplines us by unfolding His protective layer a wee bit to allow the wilds of the World to get to us. But of course, anything God allows into our lives, He definitely has the power to remove (: And I'm sure when I've thoroughly learnt my lesson, the stomach flu will fade... Here's to hoping the lesson doesn't fade as well ((:

Jonah's Prayer
1 From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the LORD his God. 2 He said:
"In my distress I called to the LORD,
and he answered me.
From the depths of the grave [a] I called for help,
and you listened to my cry.

Relying on God

2010-02-12T17:01:00.000-08:00

When, in the whole history of maladies and unfortunate events, have you heard about a person having STOMACH FLU before the Chinese New Year holidays? X.X And yet, that's exactly what I got. On Thursday, I'd gone home before CC started because I suspected I was falling ill. Alas, it was the Stomach Flu bug creeping up behind me. That night was spent tossing around in bed with this constant feeling that someone was sitting on my stomach. (That what happens when your intestines are clogged up X.X) Skipped lecture the next day... but I had to drag myself to school for yi gu wen. I spent 12 hours sleeping! Well, I guess that's not too bad (: Finally at 3 am, I felt muuuch better.

But that's only because God, in all His Mercy, laid His healing hands on me (: He heard my pain and provided the relief. I mean, He didn't heal me immediately.. instead He allowed enough time for me to realised how important a healthy body is. And now I resolve not to stuff anymore unhealthy things into my body. The Lord teaches us different things in so many ways (: It might be painful sometimes... but I'm glad He takes the time to discipline us anyway ^^

Power under Control

2010-02-07T03:57:00.000-08:00

Pastor Rony said something today that I thought was immensely worth thinking about... Everyone, Christian or not, knows that Jesus died on the cross for our sins. That He suffered an immense amount of pain. That He bore on stripe for every portion of our body so that even our illnesses were borne by Him into Hell. But do we really know how much He paid that day?

The Bible said Jesus humbled Himself and came down as an ordinary man to live amongst humans, to live like them and be tempted just like we are today. Yes, tempted... like how powerful men abuse their position and power to control other people. Or how even little kids no older than 9 use their position as a bigger and stronger boy/girl to bully smaller and seemingly weaker children. All over the world, except for a select few, the biggest problem for any one person is the abuse of power.

Not only relationship-wise, people who have the internet or a computer use it to fashion 'incurable' computer viruses and send them through deceptively harmless e-mails. Teenagers who have a few extra dollars than their friends use money to buy goods just to spite their monetarily-unequal peer. Me? I've had my share too... including speaking other languages to get through a heavily-crowded area. It seems that whenever we can, we'd use our power to our advantage... I mean, that's survival right? Even the angelic ones crumble in the face of immense temptation, and the saints, in times of desperate need.

Jesus was about to die. And he was about to die for people who were laughing at Him, mocking Him and even spitting on Him. It wasn't His burden to bear, so why did God want Him to die for undeserving humans? Who were created from dust and could just as easily be returned to dust. Behind Him, hordes of angels flew in military-order waiting for Jesus to say the word and they would all swoop down and slaughter all of the sinners. At His command, the Earth would have blown up!

But you know what, He didn't.

He stayed on that cross. And I think that's the crux of the story... that He stayed on that cross. For you and me (:

God be praised for that.

This world is not for me

2010-02-06T07:27:00.001-08:00

I'll never be good enough for this world...
But have been made perfect in His love (:

Dear God, I'm ready to be set apart by you. Ready to give this world up for You.

送之志洋

2010-02-05T22:46:00.000-08:00

你是我伯牙的钟期，我夷吾的鲍叔。（：
我杰好朋友～
多谢你的耐心。

And so, I dedicate this song to our friendship ((:

Прекрасный ужин (:

2010-01-07T07:49:00.000-08:00

I'm writing this blog entry as swiftly as I can lest the most interesting details flee too quickly from my feeble mind. (:

Today, we had the most AWESOME Christmas Party ever! (Parties with my family don't count because those are beyond awesome XD) And this party was spent in the company of Liz, Fei Mao, Roxanne, Mren, Rachel and Jennifer! =D -confetti sprays out- There is no better combination than good (freakingawesomesuperdeliciousmegalicious) food (cooked by the awesome duo of Liz and Mom), super-lific company and comments on Left 4 Dead flying across a strong teak dining table in a cozy dining room (:

The Dinner

[ Starters ] The appetizer really was the epitome of all appetizers (: Lemon salad dressing dribbled over the freshest baby spinach leaves, raspberries and blueberries mixed into a perfect salad ... on one end of the plate XP It was accompanied with the most amazing Moussaka (painstakingly done to perfection by Mren!) and this lovely Russian meat-pocket dish (FORGIVE MY IGNORANCE, AMANDA!) that I had to fight not to gobble it (and the rest of them) down in one bite XD

[ Mains ] We had TURKEY for dinner (: Mais il n'est pas turkey typicale. It was a MOIST, lightly roasted turkey which had been soaked previously in a complicated concoction-of-a-salt-water-bath that contains rosebuds and star anise O.O Ou la la. Tres bien (: I won't even mention the sweet rhubarb jelly, cranberry sauce and rapturous turkey filling made of sweet onions and chestnut (: Whoops. I just did, didn't I?

[ Dessert ] Why go to Perth when you can have LAVENDER ice cream in Singapore? In the comfort of your (friend's) house? (: My scoop was topped off with white chocolate and a strawberry ((: I didn't leave one drop of icecream or even a sliver of chocolate in that bowl. Same goes for the caramelized oranges and the greek yoghurt (: All sitting comfortably in my bulging tummy.

I guess in the end, it wasn't really the food that made all the difference (: Although we loved and cherished every last drop of sauce and sliver of meat, it was the company that made all the difference (: the camaraderie (hate using that word...) at the filled-up table and the general spirit of true, carefree merry-making. I think there and then, at the beginning of January (For goodness sake), we found the true spirit of Christmas ^^ ... no... this is how we should live life everyday! Not the indulgent part, but the part where we keep our friends close to our side and live each moment as if the next would be our last - constantly sharing and taking in the joy (not the pain) of each fleeting second.

Mom once said, when life gives you lemons, squeeze the heck out of them, add your own sugar and make lemonade. Well guys, I think together we really crushed the juice out of Life's lemons XDD Don't you agree?

And now I end with a fuzzy picture of us together =DD hahaha. Sorry T___T My camera is phail.

Thank God for you guys (: Really, with all my tiny little heart. THANK GOD.

The Lord's Prayer

2010-01-04T10:01:00.000-08:00

"Our Father in heaven,
Hallowed be Your Name.
Your Kingdom come,
Your Will be done,
on earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us today our Daily Bread.
Forgive us our debts,
As we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one."

Amen.

PoT-ness

2009-12-31T09:48:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Sonia for this! ((:
I can't say much more than that there isn't a finer PoT Cosplay team around XPP

Flying off

2009-12-18T04:46:00.000-08:00

I'm flying off in -counts quickly- 10 hours' time! (: Oh boy oh boy! I can almost taste the honey-back ribs over a hot charcoal grill... and the smell of large cookies all around a tinsel-covered, christmas lights-lit town ~ ^^ Okay. So I'm romanticizing... but let me to my imagination ((: and while you're at it, wish me journey mercy and Godspeed!

I've always had a problem with flying though... I mean, the prospects of crashing. I know the odds are terribly low. More often than not, when a plane crashes, every nation knows about it and the whole world weeps for your soul. I know I know - Touchwood. But the night before the flight, I will never fail to have this terrible rumbling in the nether regions of my stomach that braces me for the possibility of leaving this world - and you my lovely reader, behind. I mean, I'm not afraid (if God suddenly says its my time). I know where I'm going (: My only regret, would be all those times I committed sins unto God and unto the people around me and have not repaid it yet to that person, or even sought for their forgiveness. That's why I cross my fingers when we fly and pray for good weather.

The Lament of Sharyl
I've done my share of foolish things in the past.. and all in all, I've hurt many many people. But I think I've hurt more people not doing things than actually doing anything. My APATHY is my greatest vice and I intend to change that! ... later. Haha. See?!

But quick to the point, to everyone and anyone that I've made angry, frustrated, cry, sad or even harbour a little of antagonistic feeling towards me, I'm sorry. Its my fault and I'll do my best to change. And I really mean it this time... As 2009 comes to an end, and 2010 comes, I can't guarantee Sharyl will change. But it will be Sharyl and the determination to change ((: and I'll make it a reality. With plenty of help from God, of course ^^

Once again, I'm sorry for all the heartache and trouble I've caused... please, if I could help in any way, tell me (: Let it be my burden to bear. -hugs-

And just in case (not saying that it will), I don't make it back from this (or any other trip), let it be documented here that I love each and every one of you (: And my intentions towards all of you, have been nothing but the best at this moment of sanity and clear-thought. I'd wish you the world, if it'd come true... but while I'm still working on that, I wish you the best you can muster ((: and all that I can muster, till my dying breath. I love you. I really do.

With more love,
Sharyl

A reminder (:

2009-12-15T07:17:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, we need a little nudge to remind us that we're being too proud and living life wrong... sometimes we need a real good shove XD Either way, I thank You God, for having the patience to test me in flames, break and re-mold me and forge me within the fires ^^ I know in time I will be a brilliant diamond by Your hand! But until that day, I will do my best to live right! And that means to stop being so proud XD I just want to be more and more like You everyday (:

Yours Sincerely,
Sharyl

My Prayer for You - from God

2009-12-13T09:10:00.000-08:00

John 17:20

"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.

"Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.

"Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them."

Sometimes, Jesus, I wonder how much You cried that night...
How tight You plastered Your palms together...
How much You loved us that night...

I'll never know.
Words will never express exactly how much You sacrificed.
But with all I do know, I thank You for each bead of blood-sweat You shed
And every tear that hit that hallowed ground.
God, I surrender to Your love (:

Thank You.

Running with God

2009-12-08T21:24:00.001-08:00

What an adventure!

I wonder what makes a person to even start to conceive a crazy thought. However it happens, it sparked off something in me last night. And BOOM! Suddenly I'm running with nothing but my handphone, bus pass, mp3 and house keys en route to Bukit Timah via Holland Road. Yup! I don't even know how long that is. But no matter! =DD

Okay... so I cheated. I didn't run ALL the way. I didn't know how to get from Jurong East to Clementi, so I took the train through that part. Don't worry! I drank a GALLON of water before setting off ((: And then I found out that even if you stop to walk (quite) a bit, it takes you approximately 2 hours to get to Liz's house (That's on Coronation Drive). Well... minus all the wrong turns you take because you're utterly lost in Liz's Estate XDD haha.

Looking outside my window now, the dark clouds are starting to form. Usually, I'd have a terrible sense of foreboding, because I'd think God was angry at me... But now, I'm feeling more relief (: Like God held back the rain because He knew I was running. The night before, my prayer went something along the lines of,

"Dear God, I know You know that I'm crazy. And I want to run to Bukit Timah tomorrow... will You come with me? I know You'll protect me. And I'll make it through (:"

And boy did He! (: Throughout the not-so-gruelling run, it felt like someone was beside me, pacing me and making sure I didn't fall or hurt myself. Even when I was lost in Liz's estate, there was someone egging me on to be bold and try another route. I know He was there too when Liz and I were running in the hot midday sun (:

Its 1.31pm now. The day has barely begun! ((: And I'm glad it began with God.

Dear God,

Thank You so much for accepting my invitation to run! I'm so sorry You have to put up with my eccentric tendencies and weird ideas... Thank you also for keeping the weather nice and warm (not too hot) and for staying the rain until I reached home ^^ God... I'm so glad that I have such an awesome life and I get to do this and have what seems like everything in the world! I know somewhere along the way, there'll be times I want to die again... but I pray that I'll remember this time and be thankful (: I'm growing up (although I don't look like it) and I'm learning new things (: But even as I move on to longer routes, higher mountains and deeper seas... can I hold Your hand through it all?

With love,
Sharyl

P.S. Love you God.

Note to Liz: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR RUNNING WITH ME TODAY! ((: AND OH MY GOODNESS YOU'VE GOTTEN SO AMAZINGLY THIN!! KEEP IT UP! ((: WE'LL TRIM DOWN TO 45 KG TOGETHER!! I LOVE YOU!

How Great Thou Art (:

2009-12-07T06:25:00.001-08:00

Dear God,

Everytime I forget about what You've taught me, You always remind me of Your greatness (: And dear God, I am redeemed again ((: In the darkness of this blighted night, Your comforting embrace has lifted me high about my iniquities. I can still remember the conclusion we came to, dear God, about why I'm short... Haha. We laughed so much about it ((: It has been too long since I've laughed with You...

Why Sharyl is Short
You used to say that my height was a representation of the one trait I should always keep close to me (: - Child-like behaviour. I mean... no screaming and running around doing stupid Childish things. But to remain innocent, inquisitive and above all - to be most willing to love, to be hurt and to forgive. God, I still feel hurt when people tease me about my height, sometimes. However, I'll stand proudly at 150 cm (: Because no matter what the magazines and the television sets say about height, I'm sticking to my height. Because this World means nothing to me and I'm flying straight into Your arms. God, I'll gladly be short for you ^^ I'll be your child-like muffinstrawberrypie daughter-of-God (: Forever and ever. and ever.

I'll stand on top of a mountain and shout that out, Oh God (: So You'll be able to hear it without straining too much from Your Throne (just kidding). Dear God, I live another day. But no longer for me, for my family, for Edmund or my friends. But for YOU. And God here, I proudly shout out to the entire world to hear! Crazy I may be, but only because I'm Crazy For God! ((:

With much love,
Sealed in regret and repentance,
Sharyl

Hey God...
please.
Take the wheel from me

青花瓷

2009-12-05T07:37:00.000-08:00

青花瓷 Qing Hua Ci
作词：方文山 Lyrics by: Vincent Fang
作曲：周杰伦 Composed by Jay Chou

Translated by : Suet Mei (myJAYsian)

素胚勾勒出青花笔锋浓转淡　
su bei gou le chu qing hua bi feng nong zhuan dan
瓶身描绘的牡丹一如你初妆
ping shen miao hui de mu dan yi ru ni chu zhuang
冉冉檀香透过窗心事我了然
ran ran tan xiang tou guo chuang xin shi wo liao ran　
宣纸上走笔至此搁一半
xuan zhi shang zou bi zhi ci ge yi ban

釉色渲染仕女图韵味被私藏　
you se xuan ran shi nu tu yun wei bei si cang
而你嫣然的一笑如含苞待放
er ni yan ran de yi xiao ru han bao dai fang
你的美一缕飘散　
ni de mei yi lu piao san
去到我去不了的地方
qu dao wo qu bu liao de di fang

＃天青色等烟雨　而我在等你　
　tian qing se deng yan yu er wo zai deng ni
　炊烟袅袅升起　隔江千万里
　cui yan miao miao sheng qi ge jiang qian wan li
　在瓶底书汉隶仿前朝的飘逸　
　zai ping di shu han li fang qian chao de piao yi
　就当我为遇见你伏笔
　jiu dang wo wei yu jian ni fu bi

＊天青色等烟雨　而我在等你
　tian qing se deng yan yu er wo zai deng ni
　月色被打捞起　晕开了结局
　yue se bei da lao qi yun kai le jie ju
　如传世的青花瓷自顾自美丽　
　ru chuan shi de qing hua ci zi gu zi mei li
　你眼带笑意
　ni yan dai xiao yi

色白花青的锦鲤跃然于碗底
se bai hua qing de jing li yue ran yu wan di　
临摹宋体落款时却惦记着你
ling mo song ti luo kuan shi que dian ji zhe ni
你隐藏在窑烧里千年的秘密　
ni ying cang zai yao shao li qian nian de mi mi
极细腻犹如绣花针落地
ji xi ni you ru xiu hua zhen luo di

帘外芭蕉惹骤雨门环惹铜绿　
lian wai ba jiao re zhou yu men huan re tong lv
而我路过那江南小镇惹了你
er wo lu guo na jiang nan xiao zhen re le ni
在泼墨山水画里　
zai po mo shan shui hua li
你从墨色深处被隐去
ni chong mo se shen chu bei ying qu

Some songs were just never meant to be translated (:
I love you, English. But Chinese is right.
There are some things you can't do.
But I remain faithful ((: ... and a little adulterous.

花木兰

2009-12-03T11:21:00.000-08:00

The Official End-of-Exams Post

Okay. I sectioned it. If you don't want to hear this portion, please proceed to the next one, comprendo?~ (: I even have the music to match! For like Socrates once said, the melody is a vital part of a play and of life.

The Emo Portion
Yup! Its the end of my exams but for some reason, all the hype about the end of exams isn't really all I made it out to be. The end of exams kinda ushered in a few disappointments for me. For example, I lost my matriculation in the sea of people rushing out of the hall. Haha. I bet its stuck to someone's shoe right this moment. But we shouldn't talk about depressing things! Because God is good and bad things never last (: ... I suppose its partially because I find it infinitely impossible to really talk about bad things on a blog. The world's messed up as it is.

Donovan told me yesterday that I had to be the happiest girl in the world. Well, I'm not. Its just that I've seen enough gore, made enough mistakes, given my heart away to things that turn on me too many times and cried enough tears to know that nothing on this world is worth crying for. That's why I smile. The smile you see everyday is a fragmented one - a desperate war cry against the things that threaten to engulf me. A war cry I'm still attempting to share. And every time someone smiles, it redeems my sundered soul again.

I don't know the first thing about being truly happy, but I do know that I'm the most blessed girl in world ((: God, my Family, a good home, awesome friends and a loving boyfriend ^^ But as the world goes, it does mess up your perception of that and sometimes it feels like you're the poorest, most neglected person on earth.

But we just have to remind ourselves again ^^ There's just too much to live for.

The Happy-pappy Part
I went out with Eileen today! Haha. She told me to pick any movie, so I picked out 'Mulan'. Y'know, the new approximately-historically-correct film about the age-old tale of the chinese heroine who posed as a male in the Chinese army? -breathe- Haha. It turns out that its was a big loud and violent... AND INCREDULOUS! But it wasn't the killing or the pent-up Chinese emotion displayed in political dialectics that got me on the edge of my seat. (nor was it the seemingly misplaced caucasian in the Rouran camp...) It was the emotional content of the whole love-hate relationship between Hua Mulan and her duties as General (And of course her feelings for the 7th Prince). I found myself crying over and over again every time she came to an emotional impasse. Maybe its because I felt just as lost in life. But her victory over her own psychological hurdles and obstacles soon won her the place of 'General' (: A woman~

Later, I was dragged all over Jurong Point. Okay. Not dragged (: Because I was enjoying the shopping too XDD -points to new pair of shoes- They're worth it, I swear! But yes ^^ Shopping with Eileen proved to be an FANTABULOUSLY Awesome idea ((: Haha. Although Eileen was pretty tired after that (and she still had the strength to pull herself to CCK!), and I was pretty pooped out, I kinda liked being dragged around Jurong Point. Haha (: Love you, Eileen!

Oh oh! Before meeting Eileen, I met made a trip down to the LWN library to see our awesome new library friends, well, just one of them - Donovan. And he gave me a bun! (: I know it doesn't sound like much to you, but for a BREAD FANATIC like me, its like receiving a gold bar XPP An edible gold bar!

and my fingernails are now LIME GREEN

maybeonedayI'lltellyouandyou'dunderstand.untilthen,i'msorry.youweren'tsupposedtomeanthismuchtome.turnleft.I'llheadright.we'llmeetagainoneday.promisemeyou'llsmilewhenwedo.

Reminder

2009-12-02T02:56:00.001-08:00

Phillipians 4:13

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me ((:

Almost there! ((:

2009-11-29T21:11:00.000-08:00

ONE MORE PAPER LEFT (:

For some reason, waiting for your examinations to pass you by is almost like a terrible stomachache >.< I hereby apologize for any non-palatable images that have just popped into your brain (: As for me, my brain having fused long ago, am immune to the idea of comparing doing examinations to taking a dump.

Now you know I've gone mad. Either with Biostatistics or the nearing idea of freedom!

Whichever...

I'M STILL PUSHING GOD!!

Strength and Determination by the Lord!

2009-11-27T19:55:00.000-08:00

我要坚持到底！！！

安慰的面孔

2009-11-26T08:46:00.000-08:00

“but i just want you to know that even though we are small and weak.. and imperfect. we are the apple of God's eye. and after all, you're edmund's cookie。”

秀君，你的金玉良言我会珍惜一辈子的 (:
Thank you Liz.

志洋，对不起。

2009-11-26T07:43:00.000-08:00

我们已经三个星期没见面了。。。
对不起。。。我偏偏要在八点才出现。。。
你要相信我，我真的很想你。。。你不要伤心好吗？
这三个星期没有你真的好奇怪。
我也不知道为什么。。。
今天我突然觉得。。。我不配。
对不起。。。让你失望。。。
请原谅我。

Buy me a smile (:

2009-11-26T06:41:00.000-08:00

I saw this today (: Its MacDonald's new initiative for unfortunate children ^^ Its called 'Buy a Smile'. And that really set my thinking. Which is a miracle after the arduous 2 hours we sat through in Nanyang Auditorium just hammering out essays. But we are people of mettle! And we'll survive this, yeah? (:

The point is, I saw the words 'Buy a smile' and thought, "wow.". At that moment, that was the only thing that ran through my head. But as I assimilated the thought on the way home, one prominent question was floating around in my head, "Can you truly buy a smile?".

Well, I suppose you could (: On the streets, when you give a heartbroken beggar some money, or buy a tissue packet from an aunty near the MRT stations... Just a simple dollar or two puts a toothless smile on their time-worn faces (: Sometimes when your friend forgets to bring his or her wallet, a dollar is enough to send her home... and put a smile on her face (:

I guess you could buy a smile... but not with that one dollar coin in your pocket. You can only buy a smile with a willing heart (: I suppose the real lesson in giving 2 dollars for a paper smile isn't that you should think money can buy you real happiness... but its the actualization of an action that buys a smile ^^ It doesn't matter whether its a cheque for a million dollars, a gold bar or a simple smile. Sometimes we underestimate the worth of a hug as opposed to mere words on a text message or a well-wish. Its a step forward to actually getting closer to actual, physical happiness, I guess (:

And that's all people need... one step.
and one smile.

Buy a smile today (:

Cookies and Milk

2009-11-23T04:23:00.001-08:00

deux vers le bas et 4 pour aller!
I just completed 2 examinations today (:

And I also walked home! Haha. I had a thought on the way home.

GOD IS AWESOME!

Other than that, I was thinking of cookies and milk ^^ Why cookies and milk? Well... because I believe that everyone on earth is like a different dish. Some people are warm and comforting like piping hot chicken soup on a cold day... some people are spicy and popular amongst the locals like laksa. Some people are cold and rigid like ice-cream, but are loved anyway (: Some people, like me, are like cookies.

Why cookies? Because we're small and often come in round shapes (like circles? hahahaha.). My Mom says I'm like a cookie because I'm small, sweet, cute and lovable ... and chewy. Well, that's what Eileen says too. Haha. I, on the other hand, feel that I'm a cookie because I'm deceptively innocent to most people, until you take a bite out of me and find out I can give you diabetes AND atherosclerosis at the same time! Buahahaha. But I'm also a cookie because I seem tough and strong, but all you have to do it add a little pressure or get me a little bit wet and I'll break into two or fall apart.

Cookie-people come in different shapes and sizes. We also have different fillings. Some people like some cookies more than others. Other people simply can't accept some cookies. For example, I can't eat chocolate chip cookies because I'm allergic to chocolate. Kinda like how a model would never talk to a vagabond. In life, you will encounter a lot of cookie-people. In life, you will find out which type of cookie-person you like the most (: And if you're the right type of food, you'll find that you will go well with a particular cookie-person as a set and can take your relationship to another picnic table (: (er. I mean level.)

That's how I see Edmund's relation with me, I suppose (: Edmund is like milk.
He can be drunk hot or cold. And in both ways, he's just as lovable ^^ When the weather's cold outside and its pouring like the Niagara Falls, he's perfect when he's warm ^^ On a hot day, when you just want to laze around and not do the things you need to get done, he's a great energizer and motivator (: -whispers- When Edmund's cold, he's a tough motivator. -nods-

But more importantly, he's a perfect complement for me! ((: Hee hee. Cookies and milk. Together, we're every little child's comfort, every woman's sin and every man's staple XP Although you could consume cookies and milk separately and be happy, when you have them both together, it adds a little more magic in your life. Especially after a tough examination paper. No one really know how the cookie and milk got together, heck, even the cookies and milk don't understand. All we know is, when we dip cookies into milk and we taste the love in that confectionery bond, we don't have to ask any more questions ^^

Cookies and Milk FTW!

... okay. Now I'm hungry.

P.S. To all those cookies out there, I hope you find your glass of milk soon! ((:

Ce un nouveau jour~ merci mon Dieu pour votre amour~

2009-11-19T16:07:00.000-08:00

Its a new day! (: Today is also the day of my Grandfather's funeral. Sigh. We're sending him off in a while. Pretty soon, in fact.

HL815
Aristotle said that a play's or art's true purpose is 'Catharsis' - the purging of the soul. Although I never really knew Aristotle, I find this so intimately true. All the World's stage and we're merely actor and actresses in it. Each event God has structured in His perfect manuscript is an event meant to develop the character. As such he introduces events that causes us, ironically also the audience, step back and take a look at the whole picture (Alienation and imitative resemblance). In the process, we learn and grow. (What doesn't kill us, helps us to become better people right?) In this we recognise that our world, apart from the love of Christ, is naught but a simulcrum we've constructed on stereotypes and biases. There is no true love anymore... save the stereotypes of love we perceive to be and the FORM of love held in God's hands. A person's character is what the media makes it out to be. So to break through the Simulcra, God lets these bad things happen to us. To pull us back to Him. Although its painful, it purifies our soul and purges the evil in our thoughts - that our form is laid bare at the very moment. And we may approach the form of all Love. And be immersed in it. Voila (: Here life resembles the doll house . But in God, we have found our true Identity. Though crushed, we are made whole.

There (: I just summarised all the themes for HL815 into my experience this few days. But the bottomline is? I've learnt my lesson this round... and because of this trial, through my treasured Lord, I'm now stronger (:

But I couldn't have done it without such awesome friends who know how to cheer me up (: Thank you all for your words of encouragement and for making each day on this wretch earth more and more bearable to live in.

1000 Paper Cranes

2009-11-19T01:07:00.000-08:00

A HUGE thank you to Eileen and Calvin for making my day 'sweeter' ((:

Je vous verrez à nouveau

2009-11-18T07:43:00.000-08:00

John 17:17 "Sanctify them with Your Word. Your Word is Truth."

Today has been one heck of a day...
There are no simple words that come to mind when I think about today...
But I remember looking at him, just lying there. He looks exactly like how he looks when he's sleeping... I remember saying that about my grandma 1 year ago.

I must admit, it hasn't been an easy 2 weeks. I wish it had went better, but it didn't. And God knows, my heart is drifting further away from Him every time I give in to the naggy voice inside of me that's telling me to give up.

A big thanks to everyone who messaged me and even tried to call me to comfort me (: I'm greatly comforted by your kind thoughts and the re-assurance you've given me. We're actually okay... I mean, we're sad that he's moved on.. but he led a full life and he went on peacefully... and he's probably having supper with God right now in Heaven~ Please don't worry~ We're doing alright (: And things will look up.

Eileen was right. I am lucky to have such an awesome grandpa, and I'll always remember the way he smiles and the things he likes to eat... At times I'll be sad when I remember such things. But I'll also remember that he'd want us to be happy and to do the things that make us happy. So that's what I'm going to do (: I"ll be happy. And everytime I smile, I'll remember that I'm smiling for him. And for God (: and for everything that you guys messaged me about - strength, courage and love.

你的千羽鶴我也收到了。

1 Conrinthians 16:55
" Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting? The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be t God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!"

想念你

2009-11-17T15:39:00.000-08:00

－波未平，一波再起。。。

Dear Grandpa,

I remember. I just wanted to tell you that T_T. I remember when I was young and you loved me so much that you took me to the airport everyday. I remember standing at the viewing gallery with you, and we used to watch the airplanes take off. Sometimes, you'd hold me so tight that I'd have a little hand print on my side. But I knew it was because you couldn't bear to drop me. Your laugh was so wholesome and so hearty, it would infect me with smiles and joy ^^ Can you remember the time you took us out and the car door swung open as we left the carpark? Haha. The fuss we took to close the door. You kept the engine running and ran out to close it. Haha. I still don't know how you did it... But now I know, Its because you're my Super Grandpa (:

Then you had a stroke. And it took away your ability to move T___T But that didn't stop you from laughing when I did something silly (: Then the devil gave you another stroke... still you refused to stop laughing. Your new laughter was my source of unlimited joy ^^ When you laughed, the whole world stopped for a moment and it seemed like nothing in the world could ever get me down again... Even without the ability to raise your lips in a proper smile, you'd lift your hand (: And that was enough. I feel so proud... to have you as my Super Grandpa.

You know what they say... the devil only attacks the strongest people. IT gave you kidney failure and hypertension. Going with you to the hospital were a mix of sadness, worry and happiness. And when the hospital decided to keep you, visiting you was a bit painful... knowing that you were suffering. But each time that smile broke through on that toothless mouth, I felt the angels fly back to my side (: You moved me to tears when you accepted Christ. I saw you become weaker though... still we'd pray for you in Miracle Service, at home... But we couldn't visit you everyday. Work got in the way. But there you remained, my Super Grandpa.

Maybe yesterday's meteor shower were the angels flying to take you home (:

I know you're gone... gone home to God's side. That's why I'm comforted, not grieved. Well, I've had these 19 years with you - had your hand to hold, had you to hug and to have as my Super Grandpa (: I'm not content... I want to have you around again... but I know its God's time to have you now. I'm still not willing to let go... but I know God'll teach me how to in time. But maybe I'll be able to smile like you, through this adversity and the many adversities I'll encounter ahead. I'm going to try to not cry and be strong, just for you. I'm sorry I didn't spend as much time as I should have with you. I love you Gong-gong. Although I never told you... I want to watch airplanes with you again.

To my Super Grandpa, I'm missing you.

With much much much love,
Sharyl

"Don't mourn someone's death. Celebrate his life." - Anon

Praise the Lord!

2009-11-17T07:16:00.000-08:00

I've been thoroughly blessed and I WILL NOT LET THE EXAMINATIONS GET ME DOWN!

I'm posting this song because it makes me happy ((:

Yay to literal straight-forwardness XDD
Wish your Kiss :3

The Green Gummy bear Amongst the Lakerols

2009-11-16T23:29:00.000-08:00

Today was particularly sunny day.

I woke up today feeling a little morose, because I hadn't completed the studying I was planning to complete yesterday. Now here at 3.30, time is still passing me by on a freight train. But I have no qualms about simmering down to write about my feelings XD

Still, its not very often that a moment like this comes by (: Its quiet now. Eileen is murmuring about the cold and Calvin has just left. The weather outside is perfect for a good run around the neighbourhood XD Although I'm cooped up in here, I'm somewhat... content.

Haha. Eileen just threatened to eat all my sweets.

The sweet box is standing to my right with the cover open. Its a bit bulgy because of all the gummybears Eileen just stuffed down its 'throat'. Its a red Lakerol box. ... stuffed with gummy bears. Its not often that you get that XP I left the cap open and now it smells of strawberry and lime. Haha. Surprisingly, its a lovely combination. Or maybe its the company I've had this day that makes it all the sweeter to smell ^^

The clouds outside are like cotton-candy in its generator. It looks like they all have somewhere to go, but they're taking their time to stroll. As much as my heart is still racing from the fact that the examinations are coming, I'm glad God still takes the time to paint us a lovely picture for today (:

There's God loving us outside.
And here are my friends, loving me on the inside ^^ ... of the building. Hahaha.
Thanks Eileen and Calvin ((: I enjoyed studying with you guys today ^^

Why does hair smell so bad?

2009-11-16T19:56:00.001-08:00

Okay. This is just a random piece of trivia XDD haha. Brought to you by the fact that I'm in the library, my ass is numb and I feel bored with all the BS101 reeling through my head. Haha.

Have you ever burnt a strand of your own hair before? I did. By accident. But I would like very much not to talk about it. It smelt terrible! Something like being locked in a room with a gorilla with a bad case of the runs and he cuts the cheese right in front of your face which is tied to his rear-end.
<
This is because of DISULPHIDE BONDS in your hair. Yes. -highlighthighlight- The smell we detect in farts is generated by Hydrogen Sulphide. The very thing that thermophillic bacteria in sea vents emit deep under water. These disulphide bonds are the forces that hold keratin (a protein) in your hair tightly together so that it would have structural and tensile strength. (High tensile strength means that you can support about 300 people by your hair alone!) When you burn your hair, the combustion causes the disulphide bonds to break and the sulfydyl groups to be released as hydrogen sulphide. And as such, we should never ever burn our hair for fun. Because it STINKS.

-bows- Thank you. Haha.

On the side note, keratin is also strengthened by the present of small amino acids like glycine and alanine to ensure the tight-packing of all the tropocollagen strands into a large macrofibril (: That's why cavemen drag their wives around by their hair.

Talking about nice hair, I must now tell the whole world, I LOVE EILEEN HOW
Because she's a loving, caring friend who has my well-being at heart. (: <3

Mentos and all that is green~

2009-11-16T05:08:00.000-08:00

"He is Lord, He is Lord, sings my soul... He is LORD."

I must take this time to praise the Lord (: Unwittingly, my entire day just whisked past O.O I didn't even have the time to double-take. My days started out with a now-usual trip to the library at 8.30 am to reserve seats for Eileen and I. And before I can even say glycosylphosphatidylinositol linker, its 9.15pm and I'm munching on a banana!
... Okay. So maybe the banana isn't that important XD

I wonder who first coined the phrase "time really flies". Because now, together with the invention of e-mail (which is now succeeded by SMS) and microwave ovens, TIME WARPS. Hahaha. Bad pun. But yes it does. It has a space-time-continuum-altering device that allows it to become tomorrow before you even realise yesterday had passed you by.

On the way back home from my tutee's house, I was rather despondent... It had been 7 hours since I last hit the books and I wasted it on travelling. Haha. Ugh. Oh, I wanted so much to be given a teleportation device thing-a-ma-gig at that very moment so I could just 'beam' home. But I didn't. And so I continued walking. Meanwhile, Time was racing ahead of me, making funny faces while I ate its dust.

But not wanting to really waste time, I decided that maybe I could meditate on the Lord instead (: I switch the song on my nano to 'This is our God'. And began to just think about the things He has taught me. Of course, I was still getting distracted by the world around me, but as I thought back to what has happened over the course of this week, I began to really see...

I saw a loving Lord who stood by my side and held me back in embrace when I wanted to ... urm ... add a 'fullstop' to my 'essay' (shall we say?). He reminded me this week that the Lord only reprimands those He loves and if we taste the whip, its because He wants to teach us something that will stay with us forever (: He also showed me the importance of friendship and understanding ((: and the meaning of staying true to your love~ ^^ Then suddenly, from the deep recesses of my mind, a single soft but adamant voice rang out...

"I watched Confucius create examinations. Are you really going to let 6 stacks of paper take away your hope of everything I have promised you? Trust in me. I held the waters of the Red Sea back for you. What makes you think I can't save you from this examination?"

And just like the rainbow God painted across the sky after Noah came out from the ark, a flood of green - people wearing green, green kites, green bags, green shoes, just appeared before me out of the .. green XD haha. When the train stopped, it was (just nice!) in the green section. I know it sounds childish, me noticing all the 'greenery', but if you were standing in my position, you'd be moved to tears too. Alright, so I didn't cry in public... but the message God sent was loud and clear (:

Hebrews 10:27
"Let us hold on unswervingly to the hope that we profess, for the Lord who promises is faithful."

(:

J'ai confiance en moi-meme maintenant~
Parce que j'ai confiance en mon Dieu ~ ^^

Random Acts of Mentos

2009-11-15T19:48:00.000-08:00

“Trouble and distress have come upon me, but your commands are my delight.”- Psalm 119:143

It is so very comforting to know that a person with a real heart DOES exist in each and every one of us ^^ I'm studying in Lee Wee Nam with Eileen right now. And we were just offered mentos by this complete stranger sitting opposite us (: As minor as it sounds, his simple act of kindness has really made my day ^^

Thank you stranger!

Anchor!

2009-11-15T08:04:00.000-08:00

Glycosylphosphatidylinositol Linker

There! I 'said' it ((: And did it without looking XP

Be Thou my Wisdom~

2009-11-15T07:23:00.001-08:00

Although not as hip or jumpy at our modern-day songs, I think the most earnest of hearts is the true secret ingredient to a good song (: I hope that one day, when my time comes, God'll give me the strength to sing this song upon my deathbed. Then finally be received into His arms ^^

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord.
The only one in my sight, from henceforth until I arrive at thy Throne ^^
Forever.

Je t'aime, mon Dieu. Toujour~

Love,
Sharyl

Be Thou my Vision (:

2009-11-15T07:18:00.000-08:00

"My Kind of Heaven, my treasure, Thou art."

Okay. So I've finally gotten a legitimate blog, at the final push from Hann Bin. Haha. Well... hmm.. its a very green blog, as you can see XD I can't guarantee I'll update it everyday or anything... but when I get the inspiration, this is where everything will go~

Life is pretty messy for me now (: and creating this blog came in a moment of boredom when I was studying about partially permeable membranes (thefluidmosaicmodelanditsdifferentfactorsofinfluenceliketemperaturecompositionandvanderwaalsforcesblahlblahblah), believe it or not. Haha. But yes! I will update again soon with a proper post (: Hopefully...

Love,
Sharyl